a healthy relationship

Breaking Up Is Never Going To Be Easy

Do you have a to do list and it goes something like this:

call my grandma clean the house break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend

Knowing when to end a relationship can be difficult and while most won’t actually put it on a to do list, after the relationship is dead, somebody has to be the one to step up and end things. I am sure you have seen relationships that you thought ought to have ended long ago but yet the twosome seem to be holding on for life because neither of them has the guts to say good bye simply because everyone knows that breaking up truly is difficult to do.

Waiting for an explosion where you throw each others belongings out or break whatever thing you can get your hands on is not the ideal way to go. Also, it is not a good idea to just keep hanging on as the relationship dies a slow and painful death because if it’s already over you are both putting your own real happiness on hold.

So, what do you do about ending a relationship devoid of either of you getting your heart broken or being hurt?

First you will need to have a true idea of just why you thing it truly is over and you want to end things. You shouldn’t just jump to the first thing that comes into your head but actually give it some thought so that when you decide to have this conversation with your soon to be ex, you can be totally honest with them and true to yourself. You should have a clear understanding of what you do want to say to make things simpler for both of you but you also will need to be firm if you seriously want to end the relationship.

You should always try to breakup with somebody in person and not over the phone or with a dear john letter but if that will only delay the breakup that you know you are ready for, you will want to get it over and done without waiting for a better time since you are going to be apart for a while.

Definitely have compassion for your partner when you choose to breakup with them since you may possibly hope to continue to be friends at some time after the initial relationship has ended. In addition, you should use love and compassion because you have had a good relationship in the past and if possible, you want to keep the good memories intact.

You shouldn’t try to put all of the blame on your partner but have a genuine talk about what was good in the relationship and let them know that there are some memories you will always cherish. If your partner becomes emotional, respond with kindness but remain firm in your decision if breaking up is really what you want because it will only get harder to do later if you give in and stay now.

Be loving, kind and patient but let them know just how you feel and why you feel that way. If you simply don’t feel like the romance is there anymore then say so. This may perhaps not be a good time to say that you have already found somebody new if that’s the case but you can tell your partner that you just don’t love them like you once did.

Remember also that when somebody is in pain, they might say some things that they don’t really mean but sometimes in desperation we can lash out hoping to cause pain because we are feeling so hurt. Just let your partner get things out but don’t take any hurtful things to heart because you know they are just reacting and will almost certainly be sorry afterward.

If your partner has a hard time letting go and ending the relationship, continue to be understanding and try to give them what they need while they begin to get over it. Don’t begin feeling guilty because you are ready to move on with your life but try to maintain a good relationship with them if that is possible. Often, it just isn’t and you will need to let go totally since you have to do what is best for you if you seriously believe that ending the relationship is what you want.

There could be a time in the future that things will change and you want to reconnect with your ex partner but that is something you will want to think about at another time. For the time being, move on and live your life. If you ever decide you want to try again because you realize you really do love your partner, there is always the chance you can come out even stronger as a couple but…

If it’s over, make a clean break and just move on.

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