weddings

Wedding Vows Involving Kids

What do you do if you want to get married, but one or both of you have Children? The Kids may be from prior marriages or other circumstance. The challenge of dealing with Youngsters is always a big concern.

Will the Youngsters resent being omitted from your wedding?

If the Youngsters are compelled to participate in some awkward manner, the Children resent it.

There are no rules, no easy prescriptions. There are only very sensitive feelings and a need to launch a family. There are, however, some practical considerations.

Youngsters cannot be expected to think or act like adults. Adults should avoid thinking or acting like Children. It is important for adults to give special consideration to the feelings and needs of Youngsters.

Adults can make the transition to a new family easier by first settling their own feelings and then guiding and supporting the development of Kids and their personal adjustments.

Kids want to belong. They need to feel safe, secure, and loved. They do not understand adult relationships and may feel threatened at time.

Youngsters whose feelings have been considered and nurtured do a much better job accepting new people in their lives.

If you plan to get married, remember your underlying purpose is to create a positive family where every member feels accepted and loved. No one wants a dysfunctional family.

Prepare for your wedding by first strengthening the personal relationships. Adults and Children need to feel connected and a wedding can be a great way to deepen and strengthen those bonds.

Many families choose to involve their Kids in the wedding ceremony with a variety of roles including wedding vows involving Kids.

Susan is a twenty eight year old mother with an eight year old son named Todd. Susan has decided she wants to get married. The adult couple understands that Todd will be affected, but they are hoping it will be a positive experience for them all.

At a wedding planning session, it was suggested that Todd be included in the ceremony.

Todd attended the next planning session. He was genuinely excited about the possibility of having a new father and family. He thought it was great that his new parents would include him in their special moment.

It was decided that Todd would be included in the wedding ceremony by creating special vows for him.

The wedding vows went like this:

Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.

Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.

Todd: Thank you Mom and (name) for loving me. I want you to be my parents and I will do my best to honor you as my parents.

The words vary from situation to situation, but the love of family always draws people together. Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, and consideration foster a positive wedding and build a stronger family.

Dr. David Trumble is an experienced minister and author from Austin, Texas who offers wedding resources and wedding vows to couples nation wide. Read his enewest ebook s and store including his newest ebook Wedding Vows Involving Children.